Our episode starts with a woman loudly screaming (about as good a start as any) then quickly pans to a shot of her crotch (uhh) She continues screaming until some other bitch tells her she likes the way she screams. She continues until we learn that she’s currently in a Single Leg Boston Crab, unable to do anything. She then releases her, and presses her body over her knees, in a move that’s name I can’t remember. The woman applying the submission holds asks of she;s ready to tap, she then narrates that this is the day everything started.
After the OP, we’re taken to an idol competition, where two young hopefuls are competing to see who will be the object of otaku lust, and who will be dropped like yesterday’s news into otaku obscurity. Sounds like a Lose/Win situation. Hagiwara Sakura is apparently kicking the shit out of girl noone knows or cares about. They both talk shit to each other, then do their “finishing move. The votes are in, it’s down to the wire and… Sakura wins. What a surprise. Meanwhile the other gir was SOOOO close at only 120 votes behind. Welp, see you in hell loser, I say. She puts on a brave face and says that she won’t lose next time, though Sakura has won 4 times, so I’m pretty sure she’;s not worried. They shake hands and have hit the showers, and the other losers start asking Sakura what’s the secret to her Nice Body. They then start playing with her tits, as another girl says it’s the product of eATING YOUR VGETABLES, TAKING YOUR VITAMINS, AND SAYING YOUR PRAYERS, BROTHER. …ahem, she then metions Elena, the loser from before and calls her her rival, and the two weird losers than attach to her and begin groping her tits, too. Only unlike Sakura, she doesn’t seem to quite enjoy it.
In the break room, some importantly dressed woman goes over how the vote was a huge success. She the flops down a stack of books, and the girls complain that she’s a slave driver, because those are all jobs, and they’re idols goddamit, they didn’t get into this job to work. She takes this derision well, and assigns the complainers to Women’s Pro Wrestling. Yeas, it’s a trial for some TV show, or some shit. Her reasoning is solid, it may be dangerous, but it’s pretty popular these days. She relents that they don’t have to do it, and asks if their are any volunteers. Sakura happily volunteers, then Elena angrily volunteers.
Her reasoning is also solid, she doesn’t want Sakura to get ahead of her anymore. Anything Sakura can do she can do better, she can do anything better than her. Sakura is a little worried that they won’t go easy on them just because they’re beginners, Elena then angrily informs her that according to the contract, Berserk (the wrestling company, they’ll be wrestling for) they draw a sharp line between entertainnment and the real fights (wait, real?) fight that are their main draw. The wrestliers are legit athletes (as are most wrestlers) and she doesn’t assume they’ll be nice just for a TV show.
They enter the gym and Sakura says that she can FEEL THE POWER! She then walsk over to a punching bag, pushes it, and it pushers back, knocking her all the way back to Elena’s arms. Elena wats to know why the clearly unprepared Sakura would sign up for this, she then explains that she did it because everyone else was scared,and this could somehow mean something for their talent agency. She apparently puts herself into possibly dangerously stupid situations because she like being with the others, or some such shit.
Elena takes this in quickly, then show her a pose on the top rope. It’s cushinoed so she invites Sakura up, only for some angry women to scream at her, and knock her down. The angry woman is Kazama Rio. And she’s angry. She calls them clowns, and says that they can’t just “play around” in the ring. Sakura takes it upon herself to apologize… this is Japan after all. Rio angrily tosses Elena aside, for her to ask a stupid question about if the beefy woman, in the wrestling get-up is a wrestler. Sakura surmises that the ring is a sacred stage for these women.
Later, they go live, a male voice telling them to break a leg (I guess saying “Do your best” is bad luck for stage perfomers, in Japan, too) The girls get stretched out by trainers in the ring, and Elena gives some bullshit about being made to train hard as idols, too. Elena says rather loudly that Pro Wrestling wi way easier than she thought it’d be, and apparently Rio heard, and doesn’t take too kindly to this. Rio says some bullshit about daffodils sprouting out of her ears, which I’m sure sounded better when she thought of it in her head. She then recovers and remarks that she thinks she thinks she can take Pro Wrestling, without taking a move first. Sakura jumps in to her defense, of course we can’t take moves from pros, we’re amateurs, which I’m sure sounded better in her head. Elena takes offense and stupidly proclaims that she will take one of her moves, right now goddammit!
Rio puts Elena in a Camel clutch. Rio then laiughs that she thought Pro Wrestling was easy, huh? What happened to it being easy? She then puts her back into the Boston Crab, and snarks why doesn’t she try putting her in a move? Rio finally releases, s Sakura tells Elena to give it up already. Elena then decides that she doesn’t want to lose to Sakura, so she turns, and tries to Dropkick, Rio, only to be dropped herself. She then tells the “idol bimbos” not to make light of Pro Wrestling. This light’s a fire under Sakura, though.
Before anything comes of it, two chicks we don’t care about gossip outside the gym about the Sweet Diva girls being involved in Pro Wrestling. They hear thumping inside, and go in to find Sakura attempting a dropkick on Rio, only for her to block it… um, who blocks a dropkick? Ever? Anyway, the to trashtalk each other, and as Rio walks away Sakura calls her a Coward. She’s taking revenge for Elena. Rio then says let’s do this for real (for real?) ad challenges her t the next pay-per-view. Sakura quickly promises to kick the shit our of Rio, then realizes she doesn’t have a clue what she agreed to. Oh Sakura.
Apparently according to some nerds, she just got challenged to a Hardcore match, and t’s too hardcore for a idol. Either way, tickes have apparently sold out to the PPV, some guys tell “Mr. President” that they’re out to smash previous attendance records.
Elena apologizes for this getting so out of proportion, and Makoto (the woman who assigned them the jobs) says they planned for this all along as Sakura practices taking bumps. elena takes the full blame, but Sakura tells her not to worry bout it. Sakura couldn’t forgive Rio for looking down on idols, so she had to challenge her, (a seasoned veteran) to a fight that she will be squashed. When this is over, she wants them to go back to “doing their best” as members of Sweet Diva.
It’s finally time for the big fight. as Sakura has a small contingent of creepy otaku cheering for her. Sakura enters the ring, and surprisngly, Rio gets the jobber entrance. Sakura thinks to herself that she kows this is crazy as shit, but her “pride” as an idol wouldn’t let her back down, it also lets her have commisioned body pillows of her sold to creepy otaku, but that’s another story. The in-arena announcers says they’re about to ring the bell o the “fight of the century”, turning the hyperbole up just a little bit.
The bell rings, and Sakura irish whips across the ring, and gets Rio into a supplex. As Rio tries to recover, she then runs at her again, and dropkicks her in the face, knocking her into the turnbuckle. The she begins stomping her, believing that she just might be able to do this, then Rio asks if this is all she’s got. Sakura is taken bac, then Rio knees her in the stomach, she then grabs her by the hair, and headbutts her, then puts her in a fireman’s carry and power-bombs her. She then goes for her patented single-leg Boston Crab. We’re then shown the scene from the cold opening. Rio then again goes for the camel clutch, again, this all happened in the opening. She then goes for some move she likely made up on her own, and says it’s perfect for a talentless idol, because she has her legs spread eagle showing the thousands in attendance and the millions watching at home. It’s apparently called the Shame Hold, but it looks completely stupid, and highly illogical.
She then releases the move, as people all take pictures of her “like this” and then steps on her back and tell her to “Give Up” in English. She refuses, though. Rio decides it’s time to break Sakura’s convictions… by putting her in another rest hold… yay!
It’s a good old fashioned Sleeper Hold, and apparently it’s her special? Wow, what a shitty wrestler, if a sleeper hold is her special. Sakura repeats that she doesn’t want to lose, and tries to reach for the rope, but apparently passes out. She awakens to see Elena beaming over her, and realizes that Rio is the winner.
Rio declares that it’s time for Sakura to keep her promise, ehat promise? Turns out she challenges Sakura to a Hair vs. Hair match, without her knowledge, but she gives it the incredibly stupid name of a Haircut Death Match. Elena tells Rio to not be stupid, her hair is her everything. However, Sakura has a little ore honour, and decides to take the punishment she didn’t realize she agreed to. She then sits in the chair that came out of nowhere and takes the haircut. She cries that she couldn’t do anything, and decides that this is the end of Pro Wrestling for her. Instead of cutting it bald, she goes for a nice short little ‘do, ans the other bimbos try to cheer her up, by telling her this nonsense is over now.
Rio continues to trash talk the fuck out of the idols, though. and how couldn’t she? Sakura declares that she doesn’t care bout herself, but don’t you dare talk shit about the otaku pandering idol group that she’s a part of goddammit! She wants a rematch! Rio askes didn’t she just learn what true power is? True power is rest holds, without any actual wrestling. Sakura decides that she’ll just have to go pro to make Rio respect her for their rematch.
The shot heard round the world, as Sweet Diva idol declares she’s going full pro wrestler.
RATING: 2 OUT OF 5
Nowhere near as bad as everyone seems to be making it out to be, Rio is a pretty shitty wrestler though, even if their treating wrestling as real over entertainment, no one, and I mean no one likes to see a wrestler do a hundred rest holds over and over again. The main complaint about the show so far is the bad crotch shot fan service, and the moaning, but these moves are supposed to hurt, therefore, yes, there will be moaning. The crotch shots could go, but that could be said of many, many anime these days. all in all, not a terrible show, though the animation is also bad, if not outright choppy at points. Like when Rio went to apply her Boston Crab on Sakura. Welp, let’s see where this goes.