Pokémon: Origins – File 2: Cubone

Red plot dumps on us of how he continued his journey after defeting Brock. He purchased a Magikarp with his hard earned prize money because he’s an idiot, he battled a Super Nerd who found fossils at Mt. Moon, and fought ” a suspicious group” known as Team Rocket. We don’t get to see Red doing this however. He even recovers a TM from one of the Rocket Grunts, of course he doesn’t say which TM it is, so use your imagination. He beats the Water gym leader Misty, and Charmander evolves. He recieves HM01, again not saying what it does, or why he got it. He gets an old Rod from the Fishing Guru, and a Bike with the Bike Voucher he got from the President of the Pokémon Fan Club, why he gives it to him, who the fuck knows? He also defeated Lt. Surge. Anyway, all that shit out of the way, Red is on his way to the land that launched a million shitty Creepypasta, Lavender Town.

UntitledHopefully the music doesn’t give him a headache and make him kill himself.

Red is getting his Pokémon healed up at the Pokémon Center when he overhears a man talking about hearing rumours of a ghost appearing in Pokémon Tower. “Pokémon Tower”, says Red who can’t process things unless he hears it twice. The guy then says that a lot of people claim to have seen it as well, because of course, people don’t lie. The ghost also assumedly causes seizures and suicide, and is named “syndrome”. Red asks if what he said about the ghost is true, and the man who hasn’t seen it for himself and is just going off of what people have told him says that yes, it is true. Red asks what’s Pokémon Tower, and the man informs Red that Lavender Town is known as the “grave site of Pokémon, which is incorrect as it’s not the town but the Tower that the Pokémon are buried in, but whatever.

The woman who was standing next to the man, informs Red that the Tower is in fact the grave site, and she shows him through the window the large Tower sitting square in the middle of town. Lot’s of people come from great distances to pay their respects making Lavender Town apparently the “Mecca” of the Pokémon (Origins)-universe. Red then asks if the ghost the man was talking about earlier is a Pokémon, and the man seems quite sure, despite not seeing it for himself, he then dismisses it as just a rumour, despite mere moments ago saying that it was true. The woman then asks if Red believes  in ghosts, Red says no… maybe? Then the woman laughs and claims that the white hand resting on his shoulder must not be real either. Red freaks the fuck out and looks at his shoulder to see that it was made up Creepypasta bullshit. He turns to the woman and tells her to stop kidding him… only to see they’ve disappeared before his very eyes.

Spooky!

The non-Nurse Joy nurse calls over Red to inform him that his Pokémon are fighting fit, and that she hopes to see him again… which is exactly what the Viridian City non-Nurse Joy nurse said.

Eerie!

She then asks if he’s by any chance on his way to the Pokémon Tower, since it is apparently Mecca, he says yes, and tells him that he should probably check out the Pokémon House first, for some reason. Since Red’s in the business of doing what people tell him to do, without finding out why they want him to do it, he does just that.

Red goes in and asks if anyone’s there, and a little girl responds and comes out. Fortunately, the nurse wasn’t a member of a gang, and didn’t lead Red into an ambush to get his shit kicked and robbed, and the Pokémon House is instead a place where abandoned or orphaned  Pokémon are sent to be taken care of the little girl explains while looking around the room for some bizarre reason, apparently trying to make sure Red isn’t a member of a rival gang and his crew aren’t hiding in the 4th dimension or something.

The little girl who may or may not be a gang leader shows Red to the back where we see people embracing the abandoned Pokémon, as Red explains he’s never seen so many abandoned ones before. The girl says he should talk to Mr. Fuji the founder of the ga… uhm, the orphanage, he says lot’s of people believe Pokémon to just be tools, or accessories, and likely orphaned them if they were the wrong nature, or had bad IVs. The bastards.

The house used to be Mr. Fuji’s actual house, that he renovated to accommodate the orphaned Pokémon, says the girl, who for whatever reason says “Did you know”, before telling Red this. Red thinks that this Mr. Fuji sounds like a swell guy, and the girl tells him that he is, that’s why people round town have been “volunteering” to help him, and she’s one of them. Her name’s Reina. Red tells her that his name’s Red, and throws in a “Hey there”, apparently in an attempt to swoon the pretty young thing.

“All the Pokémon look very happy”, says Red, until he turns to see a Cubone hiding in a corner of his pin making growling noises. “What’s with this one”, asks Red apparently not grasping the whole abandonment thing. Reina tells Red that this baby Cubone is only freindly toward Mr. Fuji, but isn’t fond of anyone else. Why is that ask Red, and Reina explains that it’s because of Team Rocket. “Team Rocket” says Red, making sure she didn’t say “skippy doodlebop”, or something.

UntitledReina explains that just outside of town Team Rocket were off capturing wild and unclaimed Pokémon, of which Cubone was one of them. A grunt stands over Cubone telling him that he might as well let him catch him, until they’re attacked by a shadow. The shadow was Momma Marowak, which begs the question of why the other Pokémon didn’t bother to fight back, as they greatly outnumber them, and have powers and shit. Well, we may have an answer because as Marowak tells it’s child to flee, one Rocket decides that instead of capturing the powerful Pokémon, he’ll fucking kill it, he takes out an electric rod (but Marowak’s ground-type?) and shocks it to death. Cubone hears it’s mother’s final cry while running off, and stop frozen in depression. Cubone stands by the rock it’s mother was killed at until at least dawn (I guess Team Rocket decided against catching it for some reason), when Mr. Fuji comes up to it.

He get’s down on his knees, as Cubone starts snarling, and comforts the now orphaned child Pokémon. It begins crying in his  arms. Reina explains that since that day, cubone has refused to open up to anyone except Mr. Fuji. Red is rightfully angry at hearing this

Later, Red thanks Reina for showing him around, and says that it makes sense the receptionist (nurse?) told him to go there. It really doesn’t make sense, but Red’s a dummy. Reina keeps talking up Mr. Fuji, and Red tells Reina that he’s working on completeing the Pokédex, without realizing that Professor Oak just invented it, there’s only two, and thus Reina likely has no clue what the fuck he’s talking about. Red says he wants to meet Mr. Fuji, and asks which of the people currently in the room might be him.

“Well, that’s just it…” says a suddenly glum Reina. What is “it”? We get our answer in form of a man rushing through the door, exclaiming to know where Mr. Fuji is. The people rush up to find out where their fearless leader may be, he’s in the Pokémon Tower. “Pokémon Tower”, says the people doing their best impressions of Red. Yes, apparently someone said they saw him head that way, and even go in to the Pokémon Tower.

“Why would he go in there?” asks some man behind Red, which would normally be a dumb question, since people go there all the time to pay respects, but not this time as Team Rocket are holed up in the tower. A woman assumes that he went there to “convince” Team Rocket to leave the Tower. Red asks the man what hapened at the Pokémon Tower as the man asks who the fuck is he? He tells the man that he hopes to learn everything he can from Mr. Fuji.

UntitledThis is apparently good enough for the man, as he begins telling him the story of Pokémon Tower, it’s pretty simple really one day Team Rocket showed up and made the top of the Pokémon Tower their base. Why they made a grave site their base, who the fuck knows. Reina explains that out of the blue, Team Rocket rolled up on their hood in a giant semi-truck, apparently driven by the drunkard of Team Rocket. For some reason, the back of the truck was filled with an entire 6 Rocket Grunts (Well, 5 in the back, and 1 to drive). Why the fuck they rode in the back of the semi should be left to your imagination.

UntitledThe Rockets then disallow anyone from actively visiting the tower themselves… by pushing them down the stairs. Red doesn’t get it (surprise, surprise) why are they so cruel? A Creepypasta writer decides to but in and announce that a ghost appears, as she desparately tries to get people to believe her shitty writings. The other night, she claims she snuck into the tower when Team Rocket weren’t looking and then, a voice told her “GET OUT! LEAVE THIS PLACE!” she then dropped her flowers and ran away. She tries to sell her bad fan fiction by saying it was “unbelievably scary”. A man mentions that if people can’t come and visit Pokémon Tower, then the town is finished. Mostly because the town’s entire economy is tied up in PokéMecca. Reina has an idea, though. They’ll all go to Pokémon Tower to save their leader.

The response she gets is likely not the one she expected as they all respond “fuck that”. One woman claims their really strong as the Creepypasta writer mentions the ghsot again, in case people forgot, because GHOST.

Reina ets pissed and says that their boss went to Pokémon Tower to protect them from the rival gang Team Rocket, are they just going to abandon him? The Woman claims that they’re not abandoning him, they’re just not going to try and make any attempt to rescue him. It’s totally different. The man who found out where Fuji was reason that surely the ruthless gang of thugs Team Rocket will just, let Mr. Fuji go, since they’re such swell guys and all. Reina can’t believe their such pussies, and Red seeing his chance to impress Reina offers to go. The adults are surprised, they were such huge bitches, surely a child can;t be stronger than all of them. Red says he’s pretty confident about his skill in Pokémon battles and shows off his three gym badges. Hopefully the Rockets are afraid of shiny things and will run away at the site of them.

Red decides that he doesn’t care if he’s outnumbered, he’s going to succeed. Blue for some reason is peering through a door in the side of the house and overhears this, and decides that he he get’s rid of Team Rocket then he can be the hero.

Red for whatever reason waits until night time, and starts  getting cold feet at the site of the tower, as the scary music that has been known to cause suicide, because that’s totally  possible begins playing. Red walks through the tower with a flashlight, because for some reason the residents of Lavender Town weren’t smart enough to put actual lighting in the tower, or clean the fucking place, until he sees some woman.

The woman immediately claims she’s not a ghost, for whatever reason, and Red breathes a sigh of relief. The woman claims to have come to see her Nidoran, and Red asks if she’s afraid. She’s not because apparently the ghost only appears farther up, and that it must hold a grudge against Team Rocket. Which is weird, since it doesn’t really seem to be actively harming Team Rocket in anyway.

Blue can’t believe the town’s people believe there’s a ghost in the tower either. He surmises that Team Rocket must have made the story up to fool the people, and keep them from infiltrating their super-secret base. Blue calls himself “The Genius Blue”, and declares that he’ll throw them out.

On the top floor of what is now team Rocket’s super-secret base, they have rival gang leader Mr. Fuji bound as three Rockets sit around polishing their balls, as one excitedly asks if the other two have heard about the Creepypasta of the ghost. The fat one is scared and says he doesn’t like those kinds of stories, while the tall slender one believes it to just be a Ghost-type Pokémon playing pranks. But the first one says that it’s an actual, factual ghost.

Tall Rocket dismisses this and says that’s why they have “this”. Why “this” is a device known as the “Silph Scope”. It’s purpose is to identify unidentifiable Ghost-type Pokémon, so it’s got to work on real ghosts, he assumes.

UntitledMeanwhile, Blue is on his way up to level 6, and wonders if Team Rocket is even in the tower, which is a good question, as they’re apparently not using the Tower for any real special purpose, but sitting around doing nothing. Why would they make this their secret base anyway, it really makes no sense. Anyway, as Blue heads to the next set of stairs, something spooky happens… it’s a ghost. It tells him to “LEAVE THIS PLACE”, Blue never one to ignore orders from a ghost, does just that as he drops his flashlight and runs for the hills. One of the grunts has move on to polishing his rod, as he hears Blue’s scream, as the fat one claims “it’s the g-g-g-ghost”. Tall Rocket just assumes that someone snuck in to the public establishment and goes to check.

Red heads towards a flight of stairs until Blue come barreling down and…

UntitledWoah!

UntitledOh my!

Blue confides in his buddy that there’s a G-g-g-g-g-g-ghost in the tower. The ghost appears, and continues to tell them to “LEAVE THIS PLACE”, Red then asks, so there really are such things as ghost, after seeing a ghost before him. Blue tells red let’s run away, but Red declines saying he can’t run away, probably because he;s too stupid. He then sends in Charmeleon, Charmeleon growls at the ghost, which surprisingly doesn’t scare it off.  Blue uses Charmeleon’s distraction to sneak around the ghost, and continues back up the stairs.

Tall Rocket shines a light on Blue and asks what he’s doing. Well, Tall Rocket is human, so Blue can totally take him on and sends in Wartortle. Back at the Pokémon House Cubone begins ramming the door to his pen, as Reina comes in to let him out, to find out what his problem is, as he bolts for the exit. Red tells Charmeleon to use Scratch, and as you’d expect he goes right through the ghost, not leaving a scratch. Red can’t believe it, Pokémon Battling a ghost isn’t making his problems go away, and that’s all he’s good for.

UntitledUntitledJust then Blue throws Red the Silph Scope, Red has no clue what it is, so instead of telling him, Blue tells him he’ll know when he puts it on. Red then does just this and discovers that the ghost is a Marowak, he jumps to a rather big conclusion and assumes it’s Cubone’s mother as if there’s only one Cubone and/or Marowak in the world, but as the Marowak ghost informs them to not get close to “them”, it hears Cubone. Cubone runs up to the ghost of it;s mother and gives her a big ol’ hug. D’awww. Red declares there’s no need to keep on fighting it, which is good for Red as he was getting his ass kicked, and he recalls Charmeleon. As the two embrace Marowak hovers and finally rests in peace.  As the Rockets try to regather themselves, they wonder where the Silph Scope could possibly be? Red angrily throws the Silph Scope at the Rockets, which is bizarre since it’s not their’s to begin with, and announces himself as the guy who came to kick them out of this place.

UntitledHe holds a Pokéball upside down, and tells Jolteon he’s counting on him… that’s right, apparently this incarnation of Red uses a Non-Pikachu Electric-type Pokémon, and the ugliest of the Eeveelution family. Meanwhile, Fat Rocket Grunt sends in Koffing. Koffing knocks Jolteon off balance with a Tackle. Red orders a Quick Attack, and Rocket orders a Smog. The ugly bastard, Jolteon manages to dodge the Smog, until Cubone tosses it’s bone, and clears the smoke out of the room. Fat Rocket asks “what’s that”, as if he didn’t try to capture it a couple days… weeks… months(?) ago. Red uses his ugly monstrosity of a Pokémon to use Thunderbolt, and he knocks out Fat Rocket’s Koffing.

Fat Rocket recalls Koffing as the other two apparently left their Pokémon at home today, and declare that they’ve been defeated by a little kid. Fat Rocket threatens to remember Red for this, and I’m sure Red shit his pants after hearing this, as the three Rockets leave their really shitty secret base. Reina holds up Cubone and declares “we” did it, which is weird, as she didn’t do shit, but once you in the gang you share your accolades with the rest of your crew.

They then head upstairs and Reina is excited to have spotted their leader Mr. Fuji, Red begins untying Fuji, as Fuji rightfully asks who he is, Renia sets him straight, that Red is the one who defeated Team Rocket in Pokémon battle. Mr. Fuji declares that Marowak’s restless spirit must have finally been put to rest, and he has Red to thank for that. Later people return to PokéMecca to pay their respects for their dead Pokémon, as Reina plays with Cubone’s who’s voice actor didn’t get the message that “POKéMON DON’T SAY THEIR NAMES IN THIS VERSION, THAT THE OTHER ONE YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT”, as Cubone can audibly be heard saying “Cu”.

UntitledMr. Fuji declares that everything in town is back to normal, he runs this hood again, and it’s all thanks to Red. Fuji then remembers that he was told that Red was working on a project, the “Pokedex”. Red announces that yes, he’s helping Professor Oak. Fuji’s voice gets lower as he repeats Oak’s name, and lowers his head. He then tells Red that his quest will fail without love for Pokémon, and give him some things that may help on his journey. One of these things is the PokéFlute, it wakes up any sleeping Pokémon that hears Untitledit, why he thinks Red will need this is again, anyone’s guess. And another item in a box, when Red opens the box they’re gems. They have no monetary values, which is likely why Fuji is pawning them off on Red since gangs tend to like money. When Red asks what are they, Fuji tells him he’ll find out soon enough… in about 5 more Generations. and cackles as he walks off. Red then prepares to leave and hops on his bike, that he apparently kept in his backpack, and gets ready to say good-bye to his new blood brothers. Fuji tells Red that if he’s ever in trouble and come back and see him, blood in, blood out. Reina also tells him to come back again someday, maybe when they’re older and they learn about this “sex” thing all the adults keeps talking about.

As Red rides down a forest, he hears Blue call for him. He’s sitting in a tree for some reason, and in that tree he tells Red that he (red) owe him (Blue) one. “Huh, what are you talking about?” Asks a confused Red, Blue says that without him, he wouldn’t have gotten the Silph scope, then Red fires back that Blue was shitting his pants in terror in the tower. Blue refuses this, and claims that Red’s ears were playing tricks on him, and tries desperately to convince Red that he didn’t say that as he rides off into the sunset and into our next hurriedly animated adventure.

RATING: 3 OUT OF 5

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